Carrying this Torch for You
by jannikajade
Summary: Drake has some growing up to do. Future fic. Slash. DrakeJosh. Part of a larger future 'verse.


**Author's Note: **Part of the same future 'verse as "I'll Let You In."

This is a prequel to that one, set a couple years before it. You don't have to read "I'll Let You In," first, since this a prequel, but they are part of the same verse. There is a lot that happens in between this one and the last one, and probably some things that happen after. I'll get there. I know this part leaves questions, but like I said, there is more coming. For tonight, the boys wanted to me to tell you guys this piece of the story.

**Disclaimer: **Not even a little bit mine.

* * *

Drake glares at the numbers on his cell phone. They have to be wrong. There's just no way his utilities can add up to so much money; no way that playing five gigs this month will leave him with so little. He adds them up again and groans when he gets the same answer he got on his six previous attempts. This is ridiculous. Drake hates this whole grown up thing. He hates having all of this… responsibility. He _hates_ paying bills. He hates that being a rock star isn't enough, that he isn't enough of a rock star.

The lamp next to his couch flickers, and Drake balls up his electric bill and throws it at the little lamp. It's been flickering for the past couple weeks. He should probably buy a new one, but he can't afford it, and besides, this lamp is from his room in San Diego, and he's kind of attached to it, even if it does flicker. Actually, he thinks it might be Josh's lamp. He doesn't really remember anymore. He picks the lamp and scans it looking for Josh's initials or-

_This lamp belongs to Josh Nichols._

A little label stuck to the bottom. Drake laughs and shakes his head, and then he puts the lap down, picks his phone back up, pushes the number one, and hits send. Josh answers on the second ring.

"Hey Drake," He says.

"You labeled your lamp?" Drake asks.

"What?"

"That little blue lamp from our room."

"The one that's in your apartment now even though it's mine?" Josh asks, and Drake can hear the smirk in his voice.

"Right. You labeled it?" Drake asks.

"In like, the fourth grade. I got a label maker for Christmas," Josh says.

"That's a terrible Christmas present," Drake says.

"I will have you know I loved it. It was my favorite present that year."

"Dude, that's just sad."

"It is not-" Josh stops, "Is this why you called?"

"No," Drake grumbles, "Dude, I think I might have to do something crazy," He says.

"What? What are you talking about?"

"I think," Drake pauses to groan, "I think I might have to get a _job_." He says, putting as much distaste into the word _job_ as he possibly can.

"Like, a real job?" Josh asks.

"Yes."

"Wow."

"I know, I know, but dude, you saw all those bills on my counter. They keep coming. God, it's like nothing is free." Drake complains, ignoring the amusement that's already creeping into Josh's voice.

"Really? Not even for you?" Josh says.

"Must you be sarcastic? I'm having a crisis here," Drake snaps.

"Getting a job isn't a crisis."

"Maybe not for you, you like work," Drake says, "I hate working."

"Yeah, but you're charming and people love you, it's not like it will be hard for you to find a job." Josh says.

"Right. Except that I don't have anything to put on an application. I haven't had a job since I was sixteen, remember?" Drake asks, running a hand through his hair.

"That's not true. You also worked at that sushi factory for a day," Josh offers.

"Not helping."

"Sorry," Josh says, "But seriously, I'm sure Helen would tell anyone who called you worked at The Premiere until yesterday and that you were a model employee. Use that."

"Are you suggesting that I lie?" Drake asks, raising his eyebrows and smirking.

"No!" Josh says quickly, "I'm telling you to use the fact that the only boss you've ever had still loves you."

"You're telling me to lie," Drake repeats, grinning.

"Not- not exactly."

"Uh huh. And how is saying I had a job when I didn't not a lie?" Drake asks.

"Ok. It's a lie," Josh admits, "but it's a lie that will get you a job and pay your bills."

"Josh!" Drake says with a fake gasp, "lying is wrong! Whatever happened to all those…rules of yours?"

"You." Josh says, and Drake laughs,

"I have that effect on people a lot."

"You do, but we probably shouldn't put that on your resume."

"I don't have a resume," Drake says.

"I know. We're going to have to make you one. I have one more interview, but when I get home we'll look through classifieds and work on a resume for you," Josh says, and Drake beams at Josh's use of the word ihome/i, because the home he's talking about is Drake's crappy little apartment. Josh is back in California for spring break, applying for jobs and internships and anything to do between graduation and grad school. He's staying with Drake in LA for the week, and it's been really, really good.

"That sounds like a lot of work," Drake says.

"I think we can handle it," Josh says.

&00000000000000000000000000000000000&

"You know," Josh says taking a sip of his drink, "This probably won't help you get a job."

"We already made a resume! And looked at like a million ad things." Drake says, taking a quick gulp of his drink, shuddering when the vodka burns his throat.

"I'm pretty sure it was only about ten," Josh says.

"Oh whatever. I'm tired of it."

"Yeah but Drake-" Josh says, but then Drake leans over and puts a hand over Josh's mouth, silencing him.

"We can do it more tomorrow. I don't want to be a grown up anymore tonight Josh." Drake says.

"Ok," Josh says from behind Drake's hand. Drake studies Josh for a long minute, and then he puts his drink down, and scoots closer to Josh on the couch, shifting the hand over Josh's mouth so that his thumb is running over Josh's lips. Josh's breathe hitches.

"Drake?" He questions, eyes big. Drake shakes his head and swallows, then leans up to kiss Josh softly. This is isn't new, but it's not something they do often. There have been other times, several times, over the years; times they never talk about when morning comes. Times that haunt Drake's dreams more often than he'd like to admit. Times sparked by too much alcohol, or too much time apart, or Oprah tickets, or by some other excuse they repeat over and over, because there has to be an excuse.

This time though, this time they've barely touched their drinks, and Josh has been staying with Drake all week, and they just did this-just for a minute-on Monday, and this time, Drake just really, really wants to kiss Josh. So he does, moving his hand behind Josh's head and pulling him in closer.

Kissing Josh probably shouldn't be this good. It probably shouldn't be better than kissing anyone else has ever been. It probably shouldn't make Drake want to crawl onto Josh's lap and stay there, drinking in the awesome feeling of Josh's lips on his for as long as possible. It shouldn't make Drake want to run his hands over every inch of Josh's skin, or make him moan a little when Josh's mouth opens under his.

Josh pulls back after a minute, "Drake?" He asks again, breathing heavy. Drake grins, licks a line up Josh's neck, and then whispers into his ear,

"Let's not stop."

"What?" Josh stammers.

"We always stop. Tonight, we should keep going." Drake says, leaning down to plant kisses on Josh's collarbone. Josh makes a little whimpering sound,

"But, we, stop, reason." Josh gets out, gasping when Drake's kisses turn into sucking. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Drake knows what Josh is trying to say, and he knows Josh is probably right. There are probably a million reason why they always stop, a million reasons why they've always needed excuses, but right now, Drake can't think of a single one. He pulls away from Josh's neck and looks straight into his eyes.

"Do you want to stop?" He asks Josh, using his best seductive voice. Josh looks at him, eyes traveling his body, staring at Drake's lips, at the patches of skin where Drake's shirt has come away from his jeans, at the places where their bodies meet, and at his own hands, which are currently on Drake's hips.

"No," He whispers. It's all Drake needs to hear. He pounces on Josh, attaching their lips and putting his hands in Josh's hair, pulling Josh as close as he possibly can. He shifts his body, arranging his legs so that he's straddling Josh, his knees on either side of Josh's thighs. Then he pulls back and grins at Josh, before starting to work on the buttons on Josh's job-interview-oxford. He grins as he pushes the shirt off Josh's shoulders, then leans back down to kiss Josh again.

Josh gets his hands under Drake's shirt a minute later; his hands are shaking as he tugs the shirt up, and Drake grins against his mouth before breaking away just long enough to get the shirt over his head. Josh runs his hands over the newly exposed skin, tracing patterns, dipping into hollows and running along bones. Drake lets out a little moan, mirroring Josh's actions and then letting his hands dip a little lower, down to the button on Josh's pants.

He pulls back from the kiss so he can look at Josh as his fingers undo the button and then pull down the zipper. Josh is breathing heavy, and his eyes are the darkest shade of blue Drake has ever seen, he lets out a little whimper as Drake traces a teasing line along the top of his boxers. Drake half expects Josh to tell him to stop, half expects to feel Josh's hand on his, pulling away and making them talk about this for hours, but instead he feels Josh's hand on his belt. He undoes it with surprising ease, and then Drake is standing and shimmying out of his jeans, and then tugging the fabric on Josh's pants. Josh pushes himself up so Drake can pull the pants off and to the floor.

Drake is about to climb back onto the couch when Josh stands up and kisses Drake again, turning them and pushing them backwards as they kiss so that the back of Drake's knees hit the edge of the couch. Then Josh pulls back and grins. He kisses a line along Drake's jaw, and then in a surprisingly quick motion he pulls Drake's boxers down and pushes Drake down onto the couch. He kneels down, pulls Drake forward, spreads Drake's knees apart and then-

_Fuck_

And then Drake's bones start to melt, one by one, and he puts a hand in Josh's hair, and lets out a low moan and _God_-.Josh is moving his tongue in these circles and his mouth his like- like the warmest place in the entire world, and it's very possibly the best thing Drake has ever felt, and the small part of mind that's capable of thinking anything at all wonders if Josh has done this before. He thinks they probably should have talked about it if Josh has, of course, he's done this and Josh doesn't know, but still, Josh is Josh and these things are a bigger deal for him and-

_God_.

Drake doesn't care. He doesn't care where Josh learned any of it because he's pretty sure he's actually on fire and his hips are rocking up and down and out of his control and he's letting out a stream of curses and groans and Josh's name and more curses and then he's gone. He lets go of Josh's hair and closes his eyes and throws his head back against the couch and just sits for a minute while the world rights itself again. When he opens his eyes again Josh is grinning at him, and his eyes are still that absurdly deep blue, and Drake puts his hand in Josh's hair again and leans down for another kiss. He smiles when he pulls back, and then he tugs on Josh's hand, pulling him back up onto the couch. On the way up, Josh's foot gets tangled in the lamp cord and it crashes to the floor, but Drake doesn't care. He's too busy kissing Josh again and running his hands all over Josh's chest, loving the way Josh's heavy breathing makes his chest rise and fall.

A minute later, he's on his knees and Josh is in front of him, a reverse of their earlier position, and Drake is prepared to pull out every trick he knows. He puts his hands on Josh's hips and takes his time, trying to drive Josh crazy, because Drake Parker does not get shown up, not even by a stepbrother who seems to have experience he's not sharing. He sets up a rhythm and he hums, one of his own songs, one he knows Josh loves, and he feels Josh's fingers curl into his shoulder. Josh makes these little whimpering noises that turn into a low growl, and Drake makes it his mission to get to Josh to make that sound over and over again. Eventually, the growl turns into Drake's name, and it's the perfect compliment to the song Drake is still humming.

Josh shudders under Drake's hands, and Drake name becomes a yell, and then he's done and Drake can hear him panting. He pulls back, and then climbs onto the couch with Josh, snuggling into next to him, kissing his collar bone again. Josh loops an arm over Drake's shoulder and pulls him in even closer.

"I think we broke the lamp," Josh says after several minutes of silence.

"It flickered all the time anyway, it probably wanted to fall," Drake says.

"I'm pretty sure lamps don't have wants and needs," Josh says.

"Whatever," Drake says. He should probably come up with a better response than that, but he's feeling too lazy at the moment. His head is kind of fuzzy, and Josh is really comfortable.

"We could buy another one."

"We?" Drake echoes, and Josh kisses the top of his head.

"Tomorrow, when we're out finding you a job," He says. Drake nods.

"Is it bedtime now?" He asks, and Josh laughs and stands up, pulling Drake along with him.

Tomorrow, after they buy a lamp and find Drake a job. Tomorrow, they'll have to talk about all this. Tomorrow he'll have to ask Josh about this whole, messing around with guys, thing. Tomorrow they'll have to talk about what they're going to do now. Tomorrow Drake is going to have to figure out how to pay all those bills, figure out what kind of job he can get that won't interfere too much with his rock star thing. Tomorrow he's going to have to work on that whole growing up thing again. Tomorrow is going to be filled with about a million problems and awkward discussions and work, hard work, but tonight, Drake doesn't care. Tonight, Drake isn't worried at all, because whatever he does tomorrow, Josh will do it with him.


End file.
